The Fog (2005) Review
If there were ever a movie that could benefit from a remake, it was John Carpenter’s The Fog (1980). That is in no way meant to sound demeaning about the original. For one thing I felt it was strong enough to make my final fifty for my book Scenes From Behind the Sofa. However out of the fifty in the book, it was one that I felt required a more satisfying resolution and some scenes pruned, given how uneasily they sit amongst Carpenter’s more inspired moments. When I heard that they were going to remake it, I was more than a little excited. Sure it would lose that iconic score and sustained build-up that only Carpenter in his prime could do with any conviction, but hey, bring it on, let’s see what they’ve got!
The early word on this remake wasn’t good! In fact the early word indicated that they had a first class stinker on their hands. Apparently Cooper Layne’s screenplay was green lit by the studio without it having been read! With Rupert Wainwright (1999’s Stigmata) calling the shots it’s a surprise that the movie managed to bag $29million in the States, whilst up on the $18million budget and sure to make more on the rental market, it’s far short of the total the movie was expected to bag.
With the movie tailored for the PG-13 audience, Wainwright’s idea of scaring his target audience is a tiresome display of jumps that don’t work, no matter what the camera angle or the volume on the soundtrack. Where Carpenter’s original built up the tension as well as revealing more of the plot’s back story as it progressed, everything here is dumbed down and spelt out as it goes. I understand that there is an unrated version which weighs in at a three minute longer running time. It still fails to provide anything more solid in the scare department, leaving open its intention to fleece an audience that were probably already underwhelmed by this version, but stupid enough to entertain the notion that they had better rent out this longer edition or else miss out.
Starring TV stars Tom Welling (from Smallville) and Maggie Grace (from Lost) the film lacks anyone worth a damn to root for; pretty leads with all the charisma of a wet mop. The nearest we get is Selma Blair in the Stevie Wayne part, who amused me by appearing so bored throughout. What producer John Carpenter thought of this remake was far from complementary. The nicest thing I can say about it is that it’s flat and that is not a good thing. For the story to work you needed a director that can deliver. Wainwright knows where to point the camera. Someone should tell him what to do next, before a paying audience has to suffer another of his cinematic dodos.
